Well, Life happened...

I found out only days after my last post that Jerry is a lying, cheating, disgusting person. He has been cheating on me since the day we met. He told me when we met that he had been separated from his then wife for 7 years. He was a police officer, why would I think he was lying? Nearly 20 years later and I find out he was never separated from his 1st wife. Ever. He rolled out of bed with her the morning he moved in with me. He had convinced me for nearly 20 years that his ex was a cheater and a liar. Come to find out, he is. Those trips I posted about in the last entry, he went to Texas to sleep with his girlfriend of 10 years. Yes, 10 years. Every business trip, every trip I've ever taken, every late night at work and most days he was supposed to be working he was out sleeping with other women. He doesn't regret it at all. He is spreading STDs. He is a vile person, and I feel like calling him a person is horrible put down to all other people.
He cut me and the boys off from all money. Going so far as to take me off the credit cards AND then go into my car, in my wallet and remove the cards without telling me.
He refused to leave the house and also refused to stop touching me. I would go to bed because I have to work and he would wait until I was sleeping and come in and start touching me. I told him repeatedly to stop touching me in any way and he wouldn't. So I moved out into a 2 bedroom apartment with the boys. We hate it but we are happier than ever without having to deal with him and his rages all the time.
Our sex life has amounted to nothing more than rape for the last several years. I gave in to protect the boys. If he didn't get sex when he wanted it he would go into absolute rages with the boys, slamming doors, screaming and hitting them. I wrote it off as PTSD, and no, that wasn't ok but at least it was just me having to sacrifice myself and my boys were ok. He has truly revealed how narcissistic he is. Saying I could have changed and improved the marriage. He asked me to marry him again and renew our vows...Why the hell would I do that, those vows that meant something to me obviously meant absolutely nothing to him.
He removed me from access to our home camera system before I said I wanted a divorce. He removed me from the alarm system before I moved out. He removed me and the boys from access to the house (digital lock) and still the boys have no access.
He has slept with so many women. He rotates them different nights. The neighbors all see it. It is disgusting. He refuses to pay for anything for the boys without the court specifically ordering it. He makes nearly $8000 a months, I make maybe $1600 AND I pay his insurance which I can't change until I have a court order to do so. He is ordered to reimburse me but will not reimburse the full amount. He is currently in Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic, I'm sure with one of his skanks, while he has another skank going to my house to feed my dogs.
I am currently waiting for our trial so I can move on. He is hiding money and spending in violation of the court order. He has violated so many parts of the order I really hope the judge does something. I have heard tho, that the judges don't care. If he gets aways with any of this I will make it known what a whore he is. I will take out an add in the paper if I need to. Its not liable since it's the truth and I have proof to support my claims.

An update is probably in order...

In the span of about 30 days I saw nearly my entire family! Now for most people that would be quite a feat most likely, but when you consider my family lives on both the east and west coast and in the middle states, well, that's just amazing and not likely to happen again in such a short amount of time. I didn't actually get to see Uncle Geoff and Uncle Richard but I did see mom, Aunt Diane and Uncle John in December 2016

The Chaney family on New Year's Eve 2016 (including Dalton via face time since he was deployed)

 The boys and I went to California for Christmas 2016

So the cousins got to spend some time together

And in November 2016, just before Thanksgiving the boys and I went to Connecticut to meet up with dad and visit the Robichaud side of the family.

We got a new dog about a year and a half ago. She is a mini husky (though she got bigger than I expected). She is very sweet, we got her when she was about 4 months old. She is very floppy too. And sheds. Alot. Her name when we got her was Rizzo, I didn't like it so now she is Shiloh.

Kaleb has finished his 2nd year of football. He loves the game and everything about it. Year 3 will be here so quickly.

Memere turned 98 in December 2016. I loved visiting with her and wish I lived closer. She is still so mentally there it is awesome. She went bowling for her 98th birthday, cause why not?!

No more patrol car in the driveway since Jerry is now on long term disability :(

An updated picture of the boys

11 and 9 years old

12 years of Santa pics

Same Santa. Same boys. 12 years of changes.

I got the job!!! 3 years ago...

What can I say...life. Its been busy and hectic and stressful and the last 3 years have gone by so fast.  I love the job I have, that I interviewed for in the last post. I have been promoted twice, I've learned a lot and I truly enjoy the work and the people.
Jerry just went on long term disability so I now carry the insurance for the 4 of us. My pay isn't much but I miss my work when I'm away like the last nearly 3 weeks with the visit to California over Christmas because Aunt Candi died and the immediate turn around trip to Minnesota for the Mayo Clinic for Jerry.
The boys have grown so much, not only physically but also in personality and skills. Zachary is very sweet and helpful. He likes basketball, he's not what I consider athletic but he does try and he improves his skills consistently. He is very smart and enjoys math and science...does not take after me there, although I have learned to appreciate math as I've gotten older. Kaleb is a football specifically and sports in general fanatic. He can spout stats like no other 9 year old I know. He is not a big fan of schools but is so smart and if he could just appreciate how much school will do for him if he tries his hardest now life would be so much easier. Kaleb is still somewhat of a cuddler and is almost becoming a mamas boy, not in that he is a wimp or whatever but he just likes to do things with me where Zac would rather spend time with daddy helping with the rentals or doing anything with tools. Zac is definitely a mechanical mind, I'm not sure I can pinpoint Kaleb yet. He likes to sing and dance and act and move and be outside but he is one of the shyest kids I know too.
So quick, not nearly all encompassing update but as good as it's gonna get right now.

I have an interview today....

This job would be the perfect fit.

For my skill set.

For my kids' schedules.

For our bank accounts.

I really want this job and I'm trying so hard to not want it so much...

Interview is at 10:30....

December 27th 2013 was a very sad day...

My friend Rachel is like a sister to me.  We share everything.  Then she went and moved 2 hours away from me.  We still share everything.  We just don't get to see each other nearly enough.  When we start to play phone tag every so often it's kinda funny.  One of us will call the other, miss or ignore the call because we are busy and try to call back when we have a minimum of an hour and a half, cause we don't end phone conversations quickly.  We usually tag back a forth a few times before we actually get to talk but when we do it's like no time has passed at all.  

My kids call Rachel and her husband (who I met first, we worked together and he kept telling me I had to meet his wife cause we'd get along great...who knew, men can be right ;) ), anyway, my kids call them Aunt and Uncle and her kids call me and Jerry Aunt and Uncle.  My mom even adopted their kids as her grand-kids.

Rachel and I had a grand idea a few years ago.  We were going to take our then 4 kids total (Kara was 5, Zac wasn't 4 quite yet, Kaleb just turned 2 and Timothy was about 9 months old) to California so they could go to Disneyland.  And we drove.  The whole way in 2 days.  4 car seats.  3 kids in diapers.  3 kids could barely if at all feed themselves.  Medical paraphernalia abound.  3 stroller kids (and a 4th if Zac could con his way into one). And we stopped at the Grand Canyon on the way too.  There is a tad bit of crazy in our friendship :)  I think it was Rachel's mother in law who said if were were still talking at the end of that trip we would be friends forever.  I agree.  We were still talking and not even bitchy with each other.  We even had a great time.

Rachel watched Zac for me when I worked nights/evenings while I was pregnant with Kaleb.  There were some interesting times with this too.  Like they had to move the crib bottom down so Zac didn't climb out but they didn't realize he would be able to until he was almost out since Kara never tried to climb out.  I heard Zac nearly gave John an heart attack when he cried out at night, Kara never did so it was new.  Rachel told me Zac would come in and just talk and talk with Kara.

In December 2007 we had a bad ice storm and the boys and I went to stay with Rachel and John for a couple of days because we lost power for over a week and it was cold and I had 2 babies.  While we were all trying to sleep, Kara was on the floor in the living room and Kaleb in a pack n play in the dinning area and they just talked and talked all night.

A lot of people said Kara couldn't communicate.  Boy are they wrong.  She knew what she wanted and let you know in no uncertain terms if you were getting it right or not.  Just because she didn't use words didn't mean she wasn't quite aware and determined.  And I still swear she said Mama more than once that I heard.

Kara Beth Mitchell

April 9, 2004 - December 27, 2013

Kara Beth Mitchell, 9, was suddenly called into the arms of the Lord on December 27, 2013 at her home in Blackwell, OK surrounded by her family.

Kara was born on April 9th, 2004 in Stillwater, OK to John and Rachel Mitchell (Guilfoyle). Throughout Kara’s short time on this earth she made a lasting impact on the lives of many. She showed us all about hope, fighting to overcome obstacles with all of your might and most importantly unconditional love.

She is survived by her parents John And Rachel and two brothers, Timothy and Jackson of the home, grandmother Helen Mitchell of Blackwell, OK and step grandfather Gary Pierson of Perry, OK and her great grandmothers Kathleen Guilfoyle of Garnett, KS and Dolores Hunter of Altus, OK. She also leaves behind her aunts and uncles Megan and A.J. Gillinger of Grapevine, TX, Harla Enzenauer of Lawton, OK, Benjamin and Cheril Guilfoyle of Perry, OK, Chris Pierson of Ft. Lewis, WA and many great-aunts, great-uncles, cousins and dear friends.

She was preceded in death by her grandfathers Johnnie Mitchell and Timothy Guilfoyle.

There will be a celebration of Kara's life at 10 a.m. Saturday, January 11, 2014 at the First Christian Church, 306 East Coolidge, Blackwell, Oklahoma. 

This is Zac and Kara in February 2007.  Kara was his first girlfriend.

Kara 9 years old (2013)

Yesterday was Kara's celebration of life.  OMG I cried. I tried not to for some reason, but I did.  When we were paying our respect to John and Rachel after the services Rachel and I just attached to each other and couldn't let go for a good while.  (I backed up the line...but hey, they could wait cause my -for all intents and purposes- sister and I needed each other).  

Kara will be greatly missed.  I know my life is richer for knowing her.  My boys lives are too.  

And my great accomplishment yesterday was that I got John AND Rachel to eat a full meal.